I am so glad that Mother’s day and Father’s day is over! That’s right, I said it! It’s not that I don’t think we should be celebrating moms, dads, step parents and even grandparents. They are amazing… at least most of the are. In addition, there are so many people who don’t have parents, don’t have “good” parents, or are struggling to become a parent .
However, this post is about the families that do have great parents and grandparents. Let me share reasoning for disliking these holidays and you can add Grandparents Day to this one as well.
Most parents/grandparents don’t need anything. This means you have stressed out kids running around buying “stuff” that parents don’t need. Then you have parents stressed out knowing that their children are buying stuff they can’t afford or that they should have been using their money for their own family.
When my mother passed away, sitting in her china cabinet and numerous places within her home were the mothers day gifts from the past I’d given her. Many are now sitting in my china cabinet. I’m not saying they weren’t nice or the perfect gift, but I am asking, were they necessary?
I remember stressing about mother’s day and finding her the perfect present every year- after all she was an amazing Mom and deserved my gratitude and love!! In addition, I lived 10 hours away and couldn’t always make it home for Mother’s Day.
Now I have two teenagers that do just what I did- stress over the perfect gift for me and their dad. They want to give me a gift that will properly show me how much they love and appreciate us. It is so dang stressful and so unnecessary!!
Something that I have been implementing the last three years in our house is what I call “The Gift of Time”. We discontinued giving large gifts at Christmas about three years ago. Instead, we take a week at Christmas and go make a memory. We give each other little things we know the other person will enjoy, but no big expensive gifts. We spend a week in the mountains each Christmas- hanging out, building a fire and just being in the moment.
With that in mind - this year I asked both of my teens not to give me a gift. All I wanted was the day with them- just some time. What I got was a silly card, breakfast and a small bouquet (my son had to work and couldn’t help with breakfast). The rest of the day was hanging out with these two, watching a movie I selected and being waited on by both.
I told them, “ Going forward I didn’t want or expect a gift for Mother’s Day- but 10 minutes of their time throughout the year when they thought of me. To call or skype me to just say hi or tell me about their day - even if it was only a few minutes. Not to wait to call me when they had more time to talk.
I lost my both my parents about five years ago. I can’t tell you the number of times I thought about calling my Mom when she was alive, but decided to wait and call her when I had more time to talk. How I wish I given her those 10 minutes just to say a quick hi or to tell her about my day. That would have been so much better for both us- it would have been the perfect gift.
Times have changed and the majority of families don’t live in the same town, don’t get to do Sunday dinner together, and many can’t even get together at major holidays. But with so many advances in technology there is no reason we can’t find 10 minutes…
I encourage you to start a new tradition in your family - The Gift of Time. It doesn’t have to be a week or even a day. Just a quick 5-10 minute call or Skype to say hi and share something with someone you love.
Call your parents!
Happy Painting XOXO